When you mentioned that James had said, “Liz knew what she was getting into,” in regards to Aaron . . . you know, I can’t stop thinking about that statement, and how offensive it feels to hear.
For one, I highly doubt Aaron has told James the truth of how he behaved out of embarrassment (I realize that they are friends, and that means James has to defend his friend’s shitty behavior regardless).
Two, to say that I knew what I was getting into is such a coward’s copout – an offensive justification for acting shitty, sneaky, and ultimately disrespectful. Aaron disappeared without a word after three months of seeing each other, after a heated text message exchange in which he stated, “I hope you will let me show you how much I care about you.” I couldn’t care less what’s “right for him,” given his ineptitude at honoring what we shared. He is too old to be behaving like a scared child.
The very LEAST I expect of any man is honesty and communication, and Aaron failed on both.
I think, the part that makes me angry, at this point, is the idea that he could be perpetuating this idea that I somehow knew better, and was kept informed (he was never forthright about his situation, moreover, he very much behaved like he was completely available) – it angers me to think he could be perpetuating such an erroneous caricature of me, which, if this is the case, makes him even more of an ass then I previously thought.
To be clear, if James ever brings this up with you again, you let him know that there is NO justification for Aaron’s shitty behavior.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
Liz Dosta is the Research Editor for Condé Nast Traveler, and has written for The Observer and Bustle, among others. She is currently working on a book of short stories when she isn’t obsessively watching Law and Order SVU. You can view her work and her art here: duraspatisserie.tumblr.com, or follow her on instagram: lizdosta.