Two Serious Ladies is a small online magazine to promote writing and art by women.

The magazine was created in 2012 by Lauren Spohrer, who regrets how slowly she responds to submissions.

It’s named for the 1943 short novel by Jane Bowles. The novel contains the line:

“I wanted to be a religious leader when I was young and now I just reside in my house and try not to be too unhappy.” 


Finding Her Way by Cristine Brache

  the response was automated:   'greetings customer 29786224 this is a courtesy call to remind you of your reservation with the master on friday january 11th at 3:00am please arrive 15 minutes earlier as the master is fully booked remember to bring your favorite stick of deodorant and your favorite shopping bag   press pound to cancel your reservation or press zero to confirm your attendance   '0'   'thank you customer 29786224. the master will send product number 172 to your reservation area in Hall C of the International Hotel have a nice day’   click   she hung up the phone.  dragged her and her cowardly hands to the bathroom she needed to stare at herself for a while to practice being out in public again   customer 29786224 was dying to become a product it was the only value she saw left in her ambivalent existence she cherished the idea of becoming a consumable good to finally become marketable and sublime to become an inactive participant of the unconscious finally she thought   after practicing her expressions for about fifteen minutes primarily her facial expressions to simulate engagement with the taxi driver and the doorman. she tidied up her room hoping that it would be the last time she would ever step foot in it, hoping that she would occupy the shelves of the supermarket instead finding her way to an owner’s house   she fantasized about being useful in society she fantasized about her future owner she fantasized of neutralising her gender, as much as her assigned object would allow   her body automated autopilot navigated her to the elevator out the doors and into a taxi as her body generated coherent sound language which instructed the taxi driver to take her to hall c of the international hotel   staring out the windows she resented all the genitals of the world and her breath she resented her hair and her presence on the earth longing for objectification and loss of will. her will had always been such a burden   she never motivated herself enough to care about it   instead she really wanted to abstain from every single thing to adopt an alien form the ease of nothingness sustained a stick of deodorant contained in tantric plastic       Cristine Brache is an artist and poet. Her videos have recently been screened at The Phillips Collection, the Museum of the Moving Image, and the Festival des Cinémas Différents et Expérimentaux de Paris. She recently had a solo show at Guccivuitton. She lives and works in Guangzhou, China:

Febrile by Gabrielle Octavia Rucker

Passion Dyeing by Cristine Brache