Two Serious Ladies is a small online magazine to promote writing and art by women.

The magazine was created in 2012 by Lauren Spohrer, who regrets how slowly she responds to submissions.

It’s named for the 1943 short novel by Jane Bowles. The novel contains the line:

“I wanted to be a religious leader when I was young and now I just reside in my house and try not to be too unhappy.” 

 

Rihanna, Schuyler & Diane by Nicole Steinberg

Three poems from Getting Lucky, "a collection of sonnets culled from the gendered and glossy editorial copy of Lucky." Rihanna You might’ve seen Michelle Obama at CBGB’s 25 years ago in a necktie and rebellious jeans— there’s no going back. In this economy, it’s a bit of a cliché to obsess over American Idol and run around the city for zillion-count custom linens. Be a shark’s tooth—a bit stalkerish but cool, caught in the torpor of bleach on bleach, dizzy with the details of modern insanity. Do your mourning onstage, all-out destroyed from the waist down, inky lashes on a frayed face. The reality is, we engage in group fascinations, style risks; this century is designed for serious damage and split ends. Just toughen up—any economy has its burdens, like blow-drying and being conscious. Schuyler I’m constantly striving to be cupcake-like; it’s the Southern girl in me, equal parts Edward Scissorhands and Swan Lake, fully countrified and dangerously stacked. Sometimes I get carried away, ignore all ravings about prenatal vitamins and torture my hair with a spray of feathers that overpower my small frame. I’m adorably Lilliputian, overstuffed and over entitled but surprisingly gamine-elegant. I’ll pair this delicious orchid pink with deep English-country-manor green to hit that sex-bomb note, keep from looking too Little House, pear-shaped prairie. Step away from my feminized briefcase, you unadulterated cherry. I’m partied-out and need to jet to my horse farm. Diane Is there anyone cooler than the coconut connoisseur in beaded gladiator sandals drinking strawberry champagne outside a little café downtown? Crafted from hair oil and pliable denim, the red-blooded, regular-haircut-getting siren is all warmth with no sweetness, as smoldering as it gets in Ye Olde Barber Shoppe. The American items she loves are few and far between— she dreams of London’s under-the-radar salons, the fresh-cracked heat of a shimmering French coastline. For her, the glooming pit of despair is an afternoon at home with a full dishwasher and a roll of cookie dough.    

Nicole Steinberg is the author of Getting Lucky and the chapbooks Undressing and Birds of Tokyo (dancing girl press, 2014 and 2011, respectively). Recently, she received the Furniture Press 4X4 Chapbook Award for her upcoming collection Clever Little Gang. She is also the editor of Forgotten Borough: Writers Come to Terms with Queens (SUNY Press, 2011). She lives in Philadelphia.  "Rihanna" originally appeared in The Portable Boog Reader, "Schuyler" in BOMB, and "Diane" in Spooky Boyfriend. The book is available from Spooky Girlfriend Press.

Three Collages by Christine Shan Shan Hou

Something All Your Own by Ari Baum-Hommes