Two Serious Ladies is a small online magazine to promote writing and art by women.

The magazine was created in 2012 by Lauren Spohrer, who regrets how slowly she responds to submissions.

It’s named for the 1943 short novel by Jane Bowles. The novel contains the line:

“I wanted to be a religious leader when I was young and now I just reside in my house and try not to be too unhappy.” 


Two Poems by Vanessa Roveto

Rosa Luxemburg's Strap-on

here is Rosa Luxemburg's strap-on harnessed onto her body as she makes incendiary notes, britches open slightly to accommodate the thrust of ideas. perhaps, she thinks, the revolt should not wait for an equalized working class, for the false ideologies of the bourgeois democracy. but instead, like the strap-on, the proletariat should tack itself onto Marx’s cunt, the most technologically advanced layers attaching themselves to the organic in order to create a revolutionary whole. Rosa's strap-on wiggles slightly at this thought, enumerating her body as an event. communicated is not the agonizing terms of reminiscence, of an aesthetic loss uttered by the banality of its pragmatism, for this is the forging of a revolutionary program refusing to capitulate to the civilizing forces of capitalism. without warning, Rosa's strap-on rises in self-congratulation, becoming vertical in utter contrast to her radical ideas of the horizontal. the irony is not lost, and an unease quickly surfaces. the strap-on suddenly casts about for a rubbing space, looking to relieve an interior tension, looking to strike out into a gaping, wounded world, a world not quite ready for the intimacies of de-reification, for the erection of a pleading love    


debaushed and malignant often vodkka-drunke even to vomit wholy neglecteth observing the monethly sicknesse and yet leads he himselfe into the darke glory hole endeavoring to perswade poore women to forsware their bodys to him an uncivill prophaner of the speculumme, the dilator, the stiruppes, &c hath been very negligent of a Cure betaken himselfe to the Xanaxxe putting his lewde dicke into one's hand pulling up the labb coate of a nurse and devouring the principall and vitall parts common frequenter of YouPornne while on the jobbe asked for cell number of severall patients after he wenteth about examme a non-empathick sexxe addickt only performs abortionne in case of dayte rape but not incestte preaches buggery is no sinne exceptte when he himselfe cannot be aroused a sutor to Satanne he is fitt only for works of darknesse     Vanessa Roveto is a filmmaker and writer living in Los Angeles.

HI RISK by Courtney Stephens

Leaving the library (To Russia with love?) by Hadley Suter